« November 2008 | Main | January 2009 » December 2008 ArchivesDecember 30, 2008Amos Oz: Hamas is ResponsibleA.B. Yehoshua agrees.December 29, 2008Hamas Misjudged Israel's SeriousnessAccording to al-Hayat, Hamas believed that Israel wouldn't strike back as it did:It is also clear that Hamas was surprised by the magnitude of the response, as it did not take the Israeli threats seriously. Despite its decision to resume rocket attacks, it did not take any extraordinary precautions, such as evacuating its security headquarters and equipping hospitals and the civil defense forces. This explains the large number of casualties and the lack of appropriate treatment. The Annoying Middle EastRami Khouri on why the world is fed-up with the Middle East:The worst ramifications of the Middle East's dysfunctions -- terrorism, illegal migration, ethnic strife, corruption, police states, and assorted atrocities perpetuated by both state and private actors -- are only occasional irritants for the rest of the world, not pressing strategic threats. We have marginalized ourselves as serious players on the global political stage, and now assume the role of nagging annoyances and miscreants. Can Israel Break the Will of Hamas?A reader asks. The answer: I don't think so. Maybe momentarily. But Hamas will find ways to regain its "honor." Usually, this means exploding buses. The even deeper question: Can Israel force the overthrow of the Hamas government in Gaza? I'm not sure why Israel would want to -- it won't be replaced by the Palestinian Authority, but instead by a situation similar to Somalia -- but I think this is impossible, for the moment. The ideal situation, of course, is that the people of Gaza, realizing that Hamas has delivered them hardship, overthrow their government. But Hamas also alleviates the hardship it creates. The group has thoroughly penetrated the social fabric of Gaza. Its schools, orphanages, hospitals and soup kitchens serve the entire population. Hamas is not al-Qaeda. It delivers services, and because it delivers services, the population of Gaza depends on Hamas. I don't see the removal of Hamas as a near-term possibility.The Gaza WarIf someone was sending rockets on my house where my daughters were sleeping at night, I would do everything to stop it, and I would expect Israelis to do the same thing.These aren't my words -- they're Barack Obama's. But I attach myself to this sentiment. Obama said this in July, after visiting the southern Israeli town of Sderot. Visits to Sderot will do that for you -- make you see things clearly. For what it's worth, this is how I see what's happening in Gaza: In 2005, the Israeli government acceded to the longstanding Arab demand to withdraw its settlers and soldiers from the Gaza Strip. Almost as soon as the Israeli withdrawal was completed, Hamas and other Islamist factions in Gaza began firing rockets at Israeli civilians living in towns and kibbutzim inside the pre-1967 borders of Israel. Sometimes -- and I've seen this with my own eyes -- Hamas rocketeers fired on Israel from atop the ruins of the abandoned Jewish settlements. No country in the world could afford to ignore such attacks. And no country would. An elected government, such as Israel's, has a basic, overriding responsibility -- to protect its citizens from the organized violence of their enemies. Of course, it can do this in part by negotiating with its enemies (assuming its enemies recognize Israel's right to life) but its immediate mission must be to stop the violence, which is what Israel is now trying to do. Whether it succeeds or not is an open question (It is Hamas' indifference to Palestinian life, not Jewish life, that makes it a formidable foe, in the manner of Hezbollah) , but Israel must try to use all of the tools of national power to stop attacks on its citizens. Otherwise it is simply not a serious nation, one that does not deserve sovereignty. December 23, 2008Bennet Bigfoots Another BloggerAnother day, another victim.Rahm Emanuel Makes the Day BrighterYes he does:December 22, 2008A Special Note Re: HummusThis is James Bennet, editor of The Atlantic.Most readers know that the views expressed on Jeffrey's blog are his own and don't always reflect the views of The Atlantic. Such is the case with regard to Jeffrey's comments on the relative merits of hummus and baba ghanoush. Our institution has partnered with the makers of baba ganoush, as well as tabouleh and fattoush, on a number of projects, and we have a great deal of respect for their excellent work product, including the entire spectrum of Middle Eastern salads and paste-like foods, with the exception of halvah. We at The Atlantic do not take sides in the ongoing dispute between partisans of hummus and partisans of baba ghanoush. These food products are key leaders in the Middle East food products industry, and we look forward to eating them in the future. The Population Bomb That BombedJohn Holdren, who was a supporter of Paul Ehrlich, the author of The Population Bomb, which, when I read it at a too-early age, had me convinced for at least ten minutes that we were all going to die, like, now, is Barack Obama's science adviser. I've only encountered Holdren at the Aspen Ideas Festival (he was on a panel I moderated on nuclear proliferation, and he was quite dark -- probably appropriately -- in his outlook) and he seems like a very smart man, but Ross reminds us that Ehrlich's supporters believed some very outlandish things:There's a pretty good reason that the book is remembered primarily for its mix of hysteria and moral idiocy: When you kick off your argument by predicting that "the battle to feed all of humanity is over," and that "in the 1970s and 1980s hundreds of millions of people will starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now," and then proceed to argue for mass sterilization programs, the quarantine and abandonment of countries too overpopulated to save from total collapse, and various other "triage" methods (honestly, The Population Bomb has to be read to be believed), you pretty much forfeit the right to be praised for your prescience forty years down the line. Is Godfather II Subtly Anti-Semitic?Ron Rosenbaum has a great column up at Slate about Bernie Madoff and Jewish "respectability." Ron asks, whatever happened to the Jewish gangsters of yesteryear? It's a brilliant look at hypocrisy and stereotypes and the end of Jewish country club culture. But then there's this disturbing little throwaway line, about Godfather II:At least Meyer Lansky--or "Hyman Roth," as they called him in the subtly anti-Semitic Godfather II--"always made money for his partners." Bernie Madoff, if the charges are to be believed, always stole money from his partners. (It should be remembered that while the perp was a Jew, oh so many of his victims were, too.)Subtly anti-Semitic? It never struck me that way, and I've watched it 142 times. Also, I have a good nose -- so to speak -- for anti-Semitism. So I asked Ron for proof, and this is what he wrote: Hyman Roth is the age-old stereotype of the Jewish betrayer. The prime Italian gangster values in the saga are sometimes betrayed, but a betrayal recognized as a departure from the norm, the core virtue in the saga - honor and family. The Jewish values: Nothing but money (and maybe TV dinners), the apotheosis of which is Roth's betrayal of Michael, "This is the business we've chosen." "It Takes a Jew to Live With a Jew"Part of the fall-out from my conversation with Ta-Nehisi -- one of his commenters writes in to say:
David Plotz and I are Number FiveIn Slate's most-read stories of 2008, for our exchange on the Wire. Which means that we actually got better ratings than the Wire.Yes, We CanI'm not usually one for Chabad videos, but this is pretty great. I wish I had been in Malibu last night for the menorah lighting, and not only because it's 100 below zero in D.C.:December 19, 2008The Philo-Semite Twenty-FiveI know, I promised fifty, but this is hard. The list might very well grow to fifty -- keep your suggestions coming -- but for now, here are twenty-five top philo-Semites. A couple of notes: I did not include Kabbalah goofballs such as Madonna, despite demands from numerous readers. More seriously, I did not include Righteous Gentiles, non-Jews who saved Jews during the Shoah. That is a special category that represents something much greater than simple affinity for, and support of, Jews. Some of you might question the presence of Malcolm Gladwell on the list; he is there because he is the greatest philo-Semite I know personally; because he introduced me to my wife, with whom I have had numerous baby Jews; and because he inspired this list. There are numerous others whose inclusion will provoke criticism, I'm sure. Criticize away!Here is the preliminary list, presented in no special order. 1) Winston Churchill 2) W.H. Auden 3) Orde Wingate 4) Harry Truman 5) Maurice Blanchot 6) Cyrus the Great 7) Johannes Brahms 8 James Carroll 9) Henry "Scoop" Jackson 10) Dennis Leary 11) Rembrandt van Rijn 12) Paul Johnson 13) Daniel Patrick Moynihan 14) Denis MacShane 15) Vladimir Nabokov 16) George Eliot 17) George Orwell 18) Emile Zola 19) George Washington 20) Sir Walter Scott 21) Thomas Cahill 22) Pete Townshend 23) Mark Twain 24) William Butler Yeats 25) Malcolm Gladwell Please Give to the Gift of Life Bone Marrow FoundationBecause Bernie Madoff stole their money. (There's got to be a special place in hell for this man.) But the foundation is still functioning, despite many reports to the contrary, including one here, and it's work is life-saving. You can read more about its good work -- and its current financial crisis -- here.A Defense of George TenetFrom Dwight A. Howes, who thinks Patrick Tyler is full of bushwa:I have known George Tenet since 1984 when I joined the late Senator Heinz' staff and took over responsibility for what was then the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, on which Heinz served, from George so that he could focus more fully on his other areas of responsibility -- defense, foreign affairs, and intelligence. I also worked with George at the Senate Intelligence Committee when he was staff director and I was associate counsel and staff designee to then-Senator Cohen. George is a good friend and I have been with him at many social occasions. I've never seen him drink Scotch or any other hard liquor - usually he nurses a Heineken throughout the evening. In the 24 years I have known George, I've had occasion to be with him in some pretty unguarded moments, but I have never, ever heard him make an anti-Semitic remark. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that Patrick Tyler's allegations are a complete fabrication. The Affable Anti-SemiteA classic from the Onion:PLANO, TX--Henry McCullers, an affable Plano-area anti-Semite, praised the Jewish people Monday for doing "a bang-up job" running the media. "This has been such a great year for movies, and the new crop of fall TV shows looks to be one of the best in years," McCullers said. "And the cable news channels are doing a terrific job, too. Admittedly, they're not reporting on the Jewish stranglehold on world finance, but, hey, that's understandable." December 18, 2008On Excommunicating Bernard MadoffThe Bernard Madoff scandal is provoking spasms of angst and introspection in the American Jewish community (not that we don't do angst and introspection normally) and I thought I would ask David Wolpe, one of the greatest American rabbis (as well as Christopher Hitchens' sparring partner), a few questions about this drama and its cultural and theological implications:Jeffrey Goldberg: Should Bernard Madoff be excommunicated for his sins against his people? David Wolpe: We do not practice formal excommunication. I would not prevent him from entering a synagogue to pray. We are in the atonement business. However, he should be barred from any honor or recognition. To the extent permitted by his sentence he should do something of service to the community to make small reparations for the incalculable harm he caused. Short of formal excommunication, however, informal 'shunning' has a nice, solid ring to it. JG: "Shunning," huh? Does that imply that you believe his crimes might be irredeemable? At what point do you give up on a sinner? DW: Maimonides lists sins -- following the laws of the Mishna -- that cannot be fully forgiven. Common to most is an inability to make restitution (another example is one who coldly assumes "I'll sin, be forgiven, sin, be forgiven" etc.). Madoff cannot conceivably make restitution to the unnumbered he has hurt -- from lost personal savings to people dependent on the bone marrow registry whose holdings he squandered. Perhaps someone of purer soul might be persuaded to find redemption possible for him. I confess I cannot. JG: Do Jews wring their hands too much? I didn't notice a great deal of Christian angst over Ken Lay. DW: I wonder if the people in Ken Lay's church wrung their hands. Since Judaism is not a religion, but more like a religious family, bound by strong communal ties, Jews are more likely than Christians to feel pride or shame in the actions of other Jews. You don't get strong bonds without a degree of identification. That is why the foolishness in other people's families doesn't embarrass us. JG: Should we be embarrassed because we're supposed to be so smart (especially with, you know, money) and yet we got fleeced by Bernie Barnum, or should we be embarrassed because there are evildoers among us? And what does this mean for tribal trust? DW: We should be grateful that trust still exists. Cunning is an unlovely stereotype; I can't read a balance sheet to save my soul (perhaps not the best metaphor in this instance) and I am hardly alone. It may hurt that trust, which is sad; for years the fact that the diamond business all over the world, among Jews and non-Jews, is conducted with a handshake because Jews set it up that way is a tribute to decency and probity. One man's venality and cruelty can't set the standard. Vast amounts of money call not only for trust but for a solid sense of genuine value in this world. Rabbi Akiba says in the Talmud that the central commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18). May I propose that these days, "Guard your soul carefully" (Deut. 4:9) deserves pride of place. Whither the Philo-Semite 50?No, of course not. I'm hoping to post it tomorrow, in honor of Hannukah, or something. It might only have 25 people on it -- a good philo-Semite is hard to find. A good Semite is sometimes hard to find, as well. I understand that Goldblog readers are concerned, including this one, who has spent a lot of time with the story of Sodom:"The reader came forward and said, "Will You sweep away the philo-Semitic along with the anti-Semitic? What if there should be fifty philo-Semites within the world? Will You then wipe out the contest and not post it for the sake of the philo-Semitic fifty who are in it? Far be it from You to do such a thing, to not post the philo-Semitic along with the anti-Semitic, so that philo-Semitic and anti-Semitic fare alike! Far be it from You! Shall not the Goldblog of all things Jewish deal justly?" And the Goldblog answered, "If I find within the world fifty philo-Semitic ones, I will post the whole list for their sake." The reader spoke up, saying, "Here I venture to speak to the Goldblog, I who am but dust and ashes. What if the fifty philo-Semites should lack five?" And He answered, "I will not destroy if I find forty-five there." But he spoke to Him again, and said, "What if forty should be found there?" And He answered, "I will not do it, for the sake of the forty." And he said, "Let not the Goldblog be angry if I go on: What if thirty should be found there?" And He answered, "I will not do it if I find thirty there." And he said, "I venture again to speak to the Goldblog: What if twenty should be found there?" And He answered, "I will not destroy, for the sake of the twenty." And he said, "Let not the Goldblog be angry if I speak but this last time: What if ten should be found there?" And He answered, "I will not destroy, for the sake of the ten." December 17, 2008Wal-Mart Decorates Cakes for NazisOf course, right? My colleague Tim Lavin warned me that this story might actually cause my blog to explode:A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell's name on his birthday cake. A Wal-Mart spokeswoman said, "Our No. 1 priority in decorating cakes is to serve the customer to the best of our ability." Also, she said, Wal-Mart is pro-free speech. Which is why it allows its workers to discuss unionization, obviously. Tenet's DenialGeorge Tenet, on his website, calls Patrick Tyler's allegations "ludicrous:"Tyler approached me in June of 2007 with this bogus story. This is Definitely Only For Ta-NehisiWho could ever forget Cleopatra Schwartz?If Only Anti-Semites Could Spell!This is sadly typical of my mail:jeffrey dont you think jews have too much power and they are part reason for the mess we are in, in the middle east and the rest of the moslem world? Why at least some of you reporters have the curage to STANT for America first!The grammar is just shocking, isn't it? Foxman to Tenet's RescueThis is what Abe Foxman, the head of the Anti-Defamation League, has to say about Patrick Tyler's allegations:I have known and worked with George Tenet for more than a decade and find Patrick Tyler's allegations outrageous and unbelievable. Judaism and Financial HonestyDavid Wolpe has thoughts on Madoff:
When Orrin Hatch and I Wrote Beautiful Jewish Love MusicWell, almost. Nine years ago, for an article about Hatch's songwriting career, we spoke about his love for the Jews, and I suggested that he write a Hannukah song, because there are so few good Hannukah songs, and we started working on something. Here's my recollection of the moment:I had prepared, at Hatch's request, an outline of themes for his Hanukkah song. I would have suggested the title ''Light My Fire,'' but Orrin Hatch plays things straight, so I thought better of it. He read the outline carefully and said, ''I think we can really do something here.''But then his presidential campaign interrupted, and we never got back on track. So, Sen. Hatch: Call me! I'm ready to get back to work. The need is as strong as ever. December 16, 2008Ta-Nehisi on Exotic Women and IntermarriageTa-Nehisi has been saying some interesting things about relations between black men and women, and I thought I was hearing echoes of arguments from inside the Jewish community. So we had the following conversation (because we're both so into black-Jewish dialogue):Jeffrey Goldberg: Why do people go outside their groups to look for mates? What drives it? Ta-Nehisi Coates: I think most men I know, to some extent, have this thing with what's exotic. When I was kid in West Baltimore, we prized the black girls who lived out in Baltimore County - they were white girls before there were any white girls. They were supposed to be more refined and more classy. Once I came to New York, a lot of the dudes here had this thing about Asian girls - they were just the new exotic "other." At the same time, nationalism has become such a powerful, and yet subtle, force in the lives of young black people that that sort of exoticism was kind of frowned on. This was especially true when it came to black men and white women. It wasn't seen simply as you hooking up with someone different, but an almost wholesale rejection of your history, culture, and way of being. Like a rejection of the idea that black people are, as Ice Cube used to say, an endangered species. Marrying black was just an extension of the whole "buy black" thing. The idea was to keep resources in the community. Frankly, I think that's still a powerful force. I hate to
say this, but the interaction with Obama would be a lot different - in many,
many, many ways - if his wife were white. At the same time, I don't think it's the
way of the future. We will be integrated. Whether we like it or not. Seeing any
parallels here? My comparison is based on a basic theory that people under
duress - or people who have experienced a history of duress - are altered in
certain ways, and that those ways extend across race. Some of it's likely
different. But a lot of it, I think, has to be the same. Or not. JG: Remember Allison Portchnik from "Annie Hall"? You probably weren't even alive when Woody Allen made "Annie Hall" (a.k.a "It Had to be Jew" and "Me and My Goy"), but Alison Portchnik was Alvy Singer's first wife, the one he describes so famously as "New York Jewish, left-wing, liberal intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, socialist summer camps. The father with the Ben Shahn drawings." She responds by saying, "I love being reduced to a cultural stereotype." Let me tell you, as someone who went to socialist Zionist summer camp in the Catskills, and whose parents would have bought Ben Shahn drawings if they could have afforded them, that, like Alvy Singer, I found girls like these more than insufficiently exotic. In fact, I didn't really date any Jews until I moved to Israel, where Jews are pretty much unavoidable. (We didn't "date," per se, at our socialist Zionist summer camp, though there was a lot of Bolshevik sex.) In double-fact, I didn't really date very many white girls at all, until I met Mrs. Goldblog. (You know the old saying, "Once you go black, you end up marrying a Jewish girl from Providence, Rhode Island.") The more time I spent in Israel, the more I came to believe that dating "in" was the responsible thing to do, from a future-of-my-people perspective. But weirdly, and maybe you could analyze this for me, Dr. Coates, I didn't get pissed off at Jewish women who dated out, only Jewish men. In retrospect, I guess I felt sorry for the Jewish women who intermarried, because I sensed that they tried, and failed, to convince Jewish men that they weren't, in fact, their mothers, that they were intelligent and sexy and all the rest. Jewish men who go outside, I think - and this is not everyone, obviously - are looking beyond the tribe not because they really think they're going to end up marrying their mothers if they find a Jewish woman, but because they're scared of Jewish women, especially the intense sort my friends and I all seemed to marry. ("Intense" is a compliment, by the way, because intense keeps things interesting.) They're scared that these women will see right through them, among other things. There are upsides, of course, to marrying out - all those new and exciting genes, for one thing, and the opportunity to bring someone new into the fold. And you allude, of course, to the ultimate promise of real integration. Anyway, it's complicated, and I'm getting the sense you believe, as I do, that blacks and Jews have a lot more in common than lactose intolerance and hard-to-manage hair. TC: Heh, you just made the textbook black argument against interracial dating. I
basically wrote a piece saying exactly this a few years back. I argued that
black men should not date out, but that black women should do whatever. My
sentiments were much like yours - there really is no doubt, that in most cases,
black women are looking out after having at least given the neighborhood a shot. The same couldn't be said of the dudes, however. There's something else - despite liberalism, I do take some
undeserved pride in being partnered with a black woman. And to make it even more
perverse, I take pride in being partnered with a very dark skin black woman. There is the notion of black writers living kind of apart from their
community. Now there are very good reasons for why that would be the case. Still, I never wanted any part of that. I always wanted to be of it. And I
thought the most obvious way to be off it, was in who you choose to spend your
life with. Limited and passe, but that's me. Now, I think that long-term relationships are really, really hard, and should not be subject to ideology. It just seems like, in my experience, relationships rise and fall over dumb practical shit. A lot of black folks worry about disappearing. Not disappearing, I think, in the manner that Jews worry. But like, that we'll basically slaughter each other and those of us that are left will go to jail. So when you have the chance to build a stable black family, the idea is you've got to do it. JG: You know, nowadays, in liberal Jewish circles, it's considered a little odiferous to mention that you'd rather have people stay in than go out. I can't imagine it's the same in liberal black circles, but is it? Do you get pushback when you talk about the importance of this kind of solidarity? TC: It depends what circles. In New York, you can't really say that. In Atlanta you can. In D.C. you probably can. In L.A., I bet you can't. The thing is the higher you go up - at least in New York - for whatever reason shit gets more integrated. In Atlanta and D.C., there are worlds filled with high-level people and all of them are black, and interracial marriage is rare. It is just not the case here. Even in Harlem. JG: It's funny how quickly things turn - a generation ago in the Jewish community, especially in New York, it was just assumed that you'd marry in, and people who didn't do so were looked at as outliers - not Malcolm Gladwell outliers, outliers like "Why'd you do that?" outliers. I remember meeting a couple of kids in school who were the products of intermarriages, and, particularly in my ethnically-charged New York environment, they seemed to be sort of homeless. But now it's rude, in many circles, to even advocate for in-marriage. And by the way, just so you understand, I'm not for in-marriage - if that's what you call it - because I'm prejudiced against everyone but Jews. (Actually, there's a lot of Jews who think I am especially prejudiced against Jews - you should read my mail). This has nothing to do with outsiders; this is only about self-preservation. We've been around for a long time, and my suspicion is that there's a reason for this. I'm not diving into theology here, but I have this feeling that peoples don't survive the way the Jews have survived for nothing. That said, intermarriage has in some ways revitalized the Jewish community - converts, everyone knows, make the best Jews. And the byproducts of intermarriage - well, all I have to say is Scarlet Johannson. (You didn't know, did you?) Black-Jewish marriage, of course, has brought us Joshua Redman, Lisa Bonet, Lenny Kravitz, Slash, and Sophie Okenedo. As Adam Sandler would say, not too shabby. I know a lot of Jews who say that if Jews are going to marry out, they might as well marry African-Americans. I know this sounds strange (it certainly would have sounded crazy to my grandmother) but at least when you marry an African-American, you're getting someone who already understands Passover. TC: Well yeah, your point about in-marriage is, I think, where there is a similarity. I'm sure there is some degree of prejudice working on black women who suck their teeth at black dudes with white women - but it's more than that. It's the sense, I guess bluntly put, someone has chosen individualism over community. But here's something else - your point about being "scared" of Jewish women also rings true. There is, in the black mind, this stereotype that black dudes can somehow get away with more dealing with white women. I think that sort of mythology comes out of dealings with a certain sector of liberal, "understanding" whites - as opposed to, say, Bay Ridge whites. And now we're getting deep, because I don't even know if that's what black folks think about when they think about the archetypal white person. I'm rambling. The point is that there is this broad sense that, with so much hype about the fall of the black family, you have some sort of responsibility to build a successful black family. And then there's just the whole "be proud of who you are" thing. Man, that works in perverse ways - like whenever I see an Asian couple in New York, I sort of smile to myself. Yes, I know. Dead. Wrong. But I can't help how I feel! For True Anti-Semites, an Early ChristmasSo says Bradley Burston, who writes:The anti-Semite's new Santa is Bernard Madoff. The answer to every Jew-hater's wish list. The Aryan Nation at its most delusional couldn't have come up with anything to rival this: George Tenet, Drunk in Bandar's Pool, Screaming about JewsI just picked up Patrick Tyler's forthcoming book, A World of Trouble, about America's tortured relations with the Middle East, and the prologue contains this whopper of a scene, one that is quite devastating, if true: An enraged George Tenet, drunk on scotch, flailing about Prince Bandar's Riyadh pool, screaming about the Bush Administration officials who were just then trying to pin the Iraq WMD fiasco on him:A servant appeared with a bottle. Tenet knocked back some of the scotch. Then some more. They watched with concern. He drained half the bottle in a few minutes.And then this: "According to one witness, he mocked the neoconservatives in the Bush administration and their alignment with the rlght wing of Israel's political establishment, referring to them with exaxperation as, "the Jews."Tyler reports in a footnote that, when asked, Tenet initially denied staying at Prince Bandar's palace, then denied that he had said anything in the pool. "He disputed the remarks attributed to him and denied that his memory might have been affected by the amount of alcohol he was reported to have consumed on top of a sleeping pill," Tyler reports. I'll ask around about this and post any responses I get. Hair Gel and iPods: A TSA Comic StripClarissa Rappoport-Hankins, who has the longest name of anyone at the Atlantic, pointed me to this cutting Wondermark satire:
December 15, 2008Fond Memories of the First Palestinian UprisingAs Hamas reaches the end of its "ceasefire," I thought I would post this wonderfully antique quote that I found while rooting around through old boxes of papers.This is from an interview published in the winter 1989 edition of the IDF Journal with the then-commander of Israeli forces in the West Bank, Maj. Gen. Amram Mitzna. The question was this: "When you consider the various results of the Uprising, what is the most difficult facet to deal with?" Mitzna's answer is priceless, because it shows how far we've come: "From the point of view of the IDF," Mitzna said, "the most difficult problem today is rocks. I'm referring to the more 'intelligent' rocks thrown by a more selective population, that finds a tree, or house, or quiet corner, and waits. They throw their rocks mostly at civilian Israeli targets, such as buses taking children to school." The theme of the first uprising was rocks. The theme of the second was suicide bombs. The third? Well, certainly not rocks. Giving Longfellow His DueI think the implicit message of this correcting e-mail from Caitlin Hopkins is that the Atlantic, of all magazines, shouldn't mess with Longfellow:Please note that "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" a.k.a. "Christmas Bells" was written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1864, and not, as you state on your blog, by Johnny Marks. December 12, 2008Robin TonerMy friend Robin Toner, one of the best reporters in Washington, and also one of the best mothers in Washington, has died. Robin was a genius of reporting, in fact; she almost never got anything wrong, she understood almost everything, and she knew almost everybody. But I know her better as wife to the great Peter Gosselin, and as mother to the adorable and sweet and fiercely intelligent Jake and Nora, twins who are the age of my oldest daughter, with whom they shared their first experience of school, eight years ago. Robin was a superlative mother; she was moved deeply by the experience of parenthood, and it showed, in her devotion and worrying and caring and engagement.Todd Purdum has done the painful work of writing Robin's obituary, which you can read here. I can't say much more right now. This news is not unexpected, but it still shocks. A Pro-"Happy Holidays" ManifestoReader David Grossman (not that David Grossman) writes to say that I'm not thinking about the children:I completely sympathize with the mother who asked her school to pull "Rudolph". You seem quick to blame it on the parents, but what about the kid? I remember growing up absolutely hating the wide reach of Christmas in our society, feeling left out and forgotten. While it's true that "Rudolph" was writing by a Jewish writer, I highly doubt that anyone involved in the whole kerfuffle is remotely aware of that. I'm not saying we have to force people to eat Chinese food and go to the movies (I've got my options trimmed down to The Wrestler and Gran Torino, by the way), but when we're all in the public sphere, let's not exclude anybody. "Happy Holidays" is a harmless way to include Christians, Jews, Muslims and -- gasp -- atheists.By the way, for all you non-MOTs out there who might be wondering, all Jewish people eat Chinese food and go to the movies on Christmas eve, or Christmas day, or both. Every single one of us. Those of you with genocidal intent, by the way, should take this into consideration when making your plans. December 11, 2008Dishwashers Cause ImpotenceMy latest advice column is now up. In it, I help Emily Yoffe, also known as Slate Magazine's Prudence, become better at her job. Here is her letter:I couldn't help but notice that you've started an advice column, so maybe you can help me. I, too, write an advice column, for a prominent online magazine, and every day I get letters from people desperate for answers to life's grinding problems: husbands addicted to porn; boyfriends who won't brush their teeth; mothers-in-law who refuse to address their daughters-in-law by name; etc. So, Mr. Big Shot Advice Maven, tell me quick what instructions I should give these tormented souls--I've got a column to write. Also, why are men terrified of dishwashers? Don't Forget the LeeVeesFrom Goldblog Reader Jeremy Sacks:Regarding the "no great Hanukkah songs" post: check out the LeeVee's Hanukkah album, "Hanukkah Rocks." It's terrific. Maybe not Irving Berlin terrific, but funny and spot-on. "Feast of Lights" by They Might be GiantsThis is a good Hannukah song, actually. And the guys who wrote it aren't even Jewish. Thanks to reader MR:The only thing we have is fights How to Stay Alive in a Terrorized Hotel, Cont'dA reader sends in these useful tips:1) Always travel with an international mobile phone. Let people know your status if you can do so without being heard. Jack Shafer on the Christmas ConundrumI'm on the phone with Jack Shafer and he asks an obvious question: Why, if most of the great Christmas songs are written by Jews, do the Jews not have any great Hannukah songs? "Or Purim songs," he added.Someone help me out here. December 10, 2008Shmuel Rosner on Why American Jews Need to ChangeKing-of-Jewish-Media Shmuel Rosner has moved his show from Ha'aretz to the Jerusalem Post, and, to celebrate, I thought I would ask him a bunch of earnest questions about the future of his country, and also about hummus:Jeffrey Goldberg: Is what we're seeing in Hebron a continuation of the same sort of settler struggle, or does it represent something new in the evolution of the movement? Shmuel Rosner: It is not exactly new, but yet another proof that the settlement movement is
crumbling and that the fear some people shared--that the state of
JG: You just moved back to SR: The answer to this question is very simple, but it is also complicated: the smallness of Israel is the least favorite aspect of life here, but of course, it is also one of those things that make Israel the special country that it is. It is what gives Israel its sense of intimacy, what makes Israeli society a close-knit society. It is this thing that makes me feel as if I really know almost every tree and every turn of every road here. As if I know so many people that I can barely cross a street without being interrupted by someone I know from school, or the military, or work, or my kids' school. JG: Do American Jews have a role to play in bringing about a just and equitable solution to the Middle East crisis? SR: Yes, but I'm not sure if this is the role you believe in. I think that what American Jews can do--the best service they can give as to advance Middle East peace--is to support Israel as much as they can. And by support I do not necessarily mean "give money". In fact, giving money is the easiest way for people to support someone when they do not want to be bothered--but I'd like American Jews to be bothered. I want them coming for visits, I want them caring, I want them lobbying. And no--I do not want them to be criticizing Israel in public and trying to pressure Israel on matters of policy and trying to "save Israel from itself" and all that condescending crap. Not because I think Israel doesn't deserve criticism, or doesn't make mistakes, but because there are more than enough people criticizing Israel already and because making policy is for people who will eventually pay the price for it--and because Israel is a "responsible adult". And with all due respect for those thinking that they know better--I think they don't. Not those on the right urging settlers to defy government orders to evacuate from their homes in Hebron (I know some American Jews were involved, and not in a good way, in matters related to recent clashes in the city)--and not those on the left thinking they have the key for Middle East peace (your recent interviewee, Daniel Levy, is such an example). To all those I'll say: you think you have a solution? Come and convince Israelis. And if you happen to fail, don't go and work behind their backs to advance your cause by making America pressure Israel. And I know that I'm going to be mocked for my primitive tribalism, and I know that unconditionally supporting Israel might sound like a mission that is hardly ambitious for those Jews in America who believe that their role is fixing the world (Tikkun Olam). But I'm a man of small ambitions, and I think that it is better for American Jews to try and do one thing they actually can do--and not the many things they can't. Supporting Israel is a responsibility you did not ask for--but it's yours nevertheless. And since I also believe that a stronger Israel gives more hope for Middle East peace, this is what I'd prescribe for those eager to advance this specific cause.
JG: If Obama pressured the Israeli government to shut down outposts, would Israel do it? SR:should not be tolerating illegal acts.
JG: What do you think the chances are that Israel will bomb Iran's nuclear facilities in the coming year? SR: If Israel has the intention to attack However, if you ask me to try and take a guess
my answer will be no--I don't think All of this will take time, and JG: Where's the best hummus in Israel?
SR: So, as familiar as you are with the country, as
frequently as you have traveled, as knowledgeable as you are about
Rudolph the Jewish-American ReindeerReader Jay Soffian points me to the kind of nonsense I'm talking about:"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" caused a stir at a New Hanover County (North Carolina) school. A parent complained about the song's religious reference and got it pulled from her child's kindergarten Christmas show at Murrayville Elementary School. The song was pulled "because it had the word Christmas in it," said Rick Holliday, assistant school superintendent.Of course, the song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was written by a Jewish-American songwriter, Johnny Marks. He also wrote "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." Also written by Jews: "I'll be Home for Christmas," "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)," and of course, the mother of all Jewish-written Christmas songs, "White Christmas," by Irving Berlin. Why, you could almost say there's a conspiracy by Jews to dominate the Christmas-jingle-writing industry! December 9, 2008December 8, 2008Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry ChristmasVia Instapundit comes the news that Amazon has now banned the term "Christmas" from one of its advertising campaigns. It is now, on Amazon, "12 Days of Holiday," rather than "12 Days of Christmas."Well, this Jew objects. I mean, for Christ's sake, it's Christmas. Can't we call a thing by its name? Hannukah is a minor holiday of a minority religion. New Year's Day is merely a day on the calendar. It's a holiday season because it's Christmas. I love Christmas. I don't celebrate it, but I love it; I love the season, the lights, the chestnuts, the message of peace. I love the way our most Jewish city, New York, looks on Christmas. "Holiday" isn't a holiday. It's a way of avoiding offense. But who, exactly, is offended? This is what I don't understand. I'm perfectly happy living in a country that is populated mainly by Christians, particularly Christians who show nothing but acceptance for their fellow citizens who happen to follow other religions. So it doesn't sit well with me that Christians now feel constrained to offer the anodyne "Happy Holidays" rather than a greeting that touches directly on the reason for our seasonal merriment. So, my Christian sisters and brothers, feel absolutely free to greet me with "Merry Christmas," and I'll greet you right back. You can say "Happy Hannukah" as well, or "Happy Kwanzaa." Say, in other words, what you feel. The important thing is to not be afraid. December 5, 2008The Conference of Presidents, With its Head in the SandEach weekday, the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations sends out a useful compendium of news about the Middle East. It's called the "Daily Alert" and It can be quite exhaustive; today, it features articles on the Mumbai terror attacks, torture in the Palestinian Authority, and anti-Semitism in Egypt. It does not, however, contain one word about the pogrom by Hebron settlers against their Palestinian neighbors. So the question to the Conference of Presidents is: Was it not a pogrom, and therefore not newsworthy? Or are you simply too ashamed to report, amid your long list of Arab and Muslim sins, evidence of Jewish sin? These people, the Hebron settlers, are a threat to Israel and to Zionism. But not everyone in the American Jewish leadership has figured that out yet.My New HeroIs the Ha'aretz reporter Avi Issacharoff, who, with other journalists, stopped a Jewish pogrom against innocent Palestinians in Hebron. His harrowing report is here, and Dion Nissenbaum has more detail.I've written about these Hebron settlers before, and have catalogued their extremism. But it needs to be said over and over again: They are a disgrace to Judaism. As the late, great Rabin said of Baruch Goldstein and his degenerate supporters: "You are an errant weed. Sensible Judaism spits you out. You placed yourself outside the wall of Jewish law. You are a shame on Zionism and an embarrassment to Judaism." December 4, 2008Colbert's Wisconsin Dairy FarmerWait, Neocons are Christian?According to Deepak Chopra, they are:Once he becomes president, Barack Obama has no choice but to confront the problem of religious extremism boiling over from the Arab world. He would do well not to attack this as a religious problem, however, or an extremist one. The jihadis are like the point of a knife that has a long blade and a handle that controls it. In this case the handle is Islam itself. If America keeps making terrorism an Islamic issue (based on the neocons' avowed Christianity and ingrained sense of moral superiority), the handle will continue to twist the blade.Someone should tell The American Conservative. There's also this beaut from Chopra: There are already enough counter forces working to modernize Islam. Cell phones, texting, computers, the Internet, and satellite news are slowly doing the work that America's military power has failed to do.Umm, weren't the Mumbai terrorists using Blackberries? Isn't this one of the big stories of the past decade, the utilization, for savage ends, of technological means? Hotel Security: A Critique of the TajReader Randy Bell writes in with a disturbing look at the pre-siege Taj:I visited Mumbai in early October, staying at the Taj for 10 days. My room was in the tower (11th floor, overlooking the Gateway of India) and, upon reflection, and I realized that in the event of a terrorist siege, I might have had no choice but to have barricaded myself in my room and hoped for either God or rescue. December 3, 2008Even Colbert Can't Get Me On The No-Fly ListSo I was on Colbert last night (I think you can watch it tonight at 8:30 if you're so inclined) talking about the farce of airport security. When I flew up to New York yesterday, I filled my carry-on with various banned items, including and especially a box cutter, which I proceeded to display on national television. Colbert, among others, thought that this would most certainly get me placed on the no-fly-list, or at least earn me a thoroughly invasive pat-down. But this morning, at the security checkpoint at LaGuardia, no one seemed to have been briefed about my nefarious activities. My box cutter, along with my Osama Bin Laden T-shirt and other similar items, went undiscovered. However, an 8-ounce tube of "Bodycology Sweet Petals Body Cream," one of the many gifts that guests of the Colbert Show receive as part of their service, was seized by agents of the federal government. Message to the TSA: I wasn't going to use it anyway.December 2, 2008More Advice on How To Stay Alive in a Terrorized HotelLoyal reader SJE sends in these follow-up tips to my earlier list:1. Consider which side of the building is more vulnerable to rocket or Those Self-Defeating Hamas FlacksI mean, when you kick Amira Hass out of Gaza -- that would be Amira Hass, Robert Fisk's favorite Israeli journalist -- you really are mismanaging your press relations. Dion Nissenbaum has the details. By the way, the dire state of journalism in Gaza is not only the fault of Hamas; Israel has refused to let foreign journalists into Gaza for nearly a month.December 1, 2008AIPAC and the Official Secrets ActDisturbing news from London; a conservative shadow minister has been arrested for receiving classified documents. This is why the AIPAC case, in which two former officials of the lobbying group are being charged with discussing classified information -- in fact, the information was concocted as part of a Justice Department sting -- with journalists and Israeli embassy officials. If they are convicted, it follows logically that journalists, too, could be charged with receiving and discussing classified information. This has had secrecy mavens like Steven Aftergood worried for some time:Up to now, there has always been a bright line that distinguishes the leaker and the leakee, or the recipient of the leak, if you will. The government has always discouraged and gone after the leaker, except when the leak was intentional, but they have always stopped short of trying to punish the recipient of the leak. What this decision does is to say it is perfectly legal to go after the recipient. Idiot WatchFrom the mailbox, in reference to my post on how to keep alive in a terrorized hotel:How about not supporting governments that oppress their own people? The U.S. has a history of supporting dictators, and then we wonder why Americans are a target abroad. For us to be really safe, we have to stop consorting with enemies.Yes, that explains why the Lashkar-e-Toiba attacked the Taj in Mumbai, doesn't it? Hitler Did Not Urinate Into the Mouth of a Billy GoatOur reporter on the scene, Ron Rosenbaum, has more.An Astonishing Column from Roger CohenHas he ever been to Israel? Does he talk to anyone there? Noah Pollak explains why today's column is so fatuous. My opposition to the settlement project is steadfast, and I of course agree with Cohen that it is damaging to Israel. But to write a whole column about the challenges facing Israel and not mention Hamas once? Pollak would probably disagree, but for my money the best column written recently about Middle East peace has come from Aaron Miller, who published in the Jerusalem Post a column so bracing it's making me rethink my semi-optimistic view that Hillary Clinton -- or anyone -- might be able to pull something off in the next couple of years:The dysfunction and confusion in Palestine make a conflict-ending agreement almost impossible. The divisions between Hamas (itself divided) and Fatah (even more divided) are now geographic, political and hard to bridge. Until the Palestinian national movement finds a way to impose a monopoly over the forces of violence in Palestinian society, it cannot move to statehood. The hallmark of any state's credibility (from Sweden, to Egypt, to Poland) is its control over all the guns. Criminal activity is one thing; allowing political groups to challenge the state, or its neighbors, with violence is quite another. What Palestinian leader can claim to speak for all Palestinians or negotiate an agreement against the backdrop of a separate entity which controls 1.3 million Palestinians, possesses a different view of governance and nation-building and often attacks its neighbor? And what Israeli prime minister could ever make concessions to a Palestinian leader who doesn't control all of the guns? There is no solution to this problem now. Only by restoring unity to the Palestinian house will a conflict-ending agreement be possible. And that agreement will have to take into account the needs of both Israel and a unified Fatah-Hamas negotiating position which doesn't reflect Hamas's extreme views and irredentism. The Philo-Semite 50: Cyrus, Maurice Blanchot and Madonna?The nominations for the Philo-Semite 50 keep pouring over the transom, and the Sanhedrin is compiling the list. But I'll post some particularly interesting nominations as they come in. I suggested last week that readers stop proposing both Jon Voight and Rashid Khalidi (two great tastes that taste great together) for admission. I should have included Madonna on that list, though Goldblog reader Mitch Ginsburg made the case: "I know she's not exactly the second coming of the Ari, but she's nothing if not devoted to Kabbalah."Yeah, no. Monica Osborne, a smarty-pants Jewish-American literature expert at UCLA wrote in to say, "Well, of course, Maurice Blanchot should be on this list! (French philosopher, close friend of Jewish-French philosopher Emmanuel Levinas; Blanchot said that 'Judaism is an essential modality of all that is human.')" She described him as her "favorite wanna-be Jew of all time." I'll feed Blanchot's name into the Philo-Semite UNIVAC as well. Reader D. Shapiro wrote to say, "If you're placing Truman that high up, I sure hope you include the original King Cyrus (who, come to think of it, could teach Ahmadinejad a thing or two about how to get along with us)." Shapiro also nominates Denis Leary: Spare a Thought for ChabadI'm not the greatest fan of Chabad in the world, in particular its Christological, maybe-the-Rebbe's-not-dead streak, and its general fundamentalist, women-marginalizing outlook, but this is a group that does, in fact, try to spread a kind of happiness wherever it plants itself. And it plants itself everywhere. It puts other Jewish groups to shame, in fact, by its ebullient outreach. My friend Esther Abramowitz wrote to note that the "Chabad rabbi and his wife have welcomed and celebrated with thousands upon thousands of traveling Israelis with joy and no judgment." That's the formula, and it's a formula that works.What happened in Mumbai was a horror. We're now learning that the people in the Chabad house were subjected to special tortures, but even if they were murdered quickly, they were still murdered, and they were murdered for the crime of being Jewish. It's astonishing to think that Pakistani-supported terrorists, obsessed with the alleged crimes of Hindu India, would go out of their way to murder a group of people who couldn't find Kashmir on a map. But the Jews are a cosmological enemy. I think we've learned that by now.
|
Today's Headlines From The Atlantic |
Copyright © 2009 by The Atlantic Monthly Group. All rights reserved.